Think about this: if you want a marriage that lasts, you have to be willing to be bold now and then. It may require you to take a risk, take a leap of faith, or do something you’ve never done before. But in the long run, it may be the difference between an average marriage and an extraordinary one. How much better could your marriage be if “status quo” was no longer acceptable? I know a family who sold most of their earthly possessions, bought a sailboat and sailed the Caribbean for a year. Sound crazy? Well, to most it would, but if you heard their stories, you would think, as I did, “Now that would be cool!” Our degree of boldness may never reach that level, but there are some great ways you can be bold in your marriage without selling your belongings and sailing the sea (although it’s still a pretty cool idea.)

Re-envision Your Career

Our work lives often require us to make bold moves, and one of them is to change our work. Given the right reasons, we have to be willing to make a change, despite how difficult it may seem. But you know what, when you do make the decision, it’s amazing how a couple united can not only make the change successfully but thrive. Remember, marriage is teamwork. And when going through something like changing jobs, or even careers, there is something magical about doing it as a united front.

Make A Move

Job changes can involve geographic moves, too– sometimes you have to go where the work is. If you grew up in one place and still live in that same small town, with family a few blocks away, the thought of moving can be an intimidating prospect. Casting off familiar places and long-term support systems is scary, especially when you’re taking your kids with you. But it can be exciting, too. You’ll not only see a whole new part of the world, but you’ll do it together. I love living in Indianapolis and have a strong support system. But you know what? The years that Ally and I spent in Virginia Beach, Virginia were some of our best. We knew no one when we arrived. We had to lean on each other and each day was a new adventure. It was a great experience and it strengthened our marriage as a result.

Flip Roles

Our lives have seasons to them, and there are times when it might be more lucrative for one spouse to work and not the other. Maybe you used to work outside the home, and now you have the opportunity to telecommute, or your spouse, who used to stay home with the kids, just landed a dream job. Don’t let preconceived notions of who’s supposed to be doing what keep you from thinking outside the box and maximize the gifts God has given each of you. To keep ourselves fresh and growing, it is important to try new things every once in a while. And you might be surprised how much you like your new role (even if it’s short-term).

Do Something That Scares You

This may be the most important reason to be bold, because of what it develops in you. The first time is typically the hardest. Once your family develops a skill for taking calculated risks, you’ll find that more opportunities present themselves. In the meantime, start being bolder as best you can. Have you ever tried doing a ropes course together, or going scuba diving? How about challenging each other to break a habit or build one? Start a family business. Go on a mission trip. Take a different type of family vacation. Make a family bucket list and set a goal for how many items you want to check off in a year. When you forge a family culture of being bold, your family will become much more resilient, and you will be better equipped to handle whatever life may throw at you. And with any luck, you’ll have fun doing it!

God Bless,

Doug Hedrick