You may have heard that “April showers bring May flowers,” but you may not have heard that “acts of love brings the family together.” Maybe you and your family are in a rut right now and you just need a little boost to get things back on track. Well, if you are anything like my family, sometimes we need other ideas on how to get there. With flowers blooming, and rain continuing to come down here in the Midwest, here are a few ideas you can use to get your family out of the rut, and start blooming as a family.
Notes
There are many ways to do this, from slipping a note into a purse, luggage, laptop or lunch box; to writing an encouraging message on the bathroom mirror with window markers, (my wife is famous for this). Use notes to say, “I love you, I’m rooting for you and I believe in you.” If someone has a tough task ahead, you can use a simple note to wish him or her good luck. I have also seen notes used creatively to draw a silly face to keep things light and fun! Just try it and see what it does.
Tattoos
I am not suggesting that you should necessarily go out and book an appointment for matching his and hers tattoos, however, what I am suggesting is that it can be a lot of fun to pick up a pen and draw a few words or a little doodle on your spouse or child’s hand. Let them give you one as well. You can tell them it is there to remind them that you love them, or just let the act speak for itself.
Dates
I have written before about the importance of dating your spouse, but it is worth mentioning again – never stop dating your spouse. In addition, dates with your kids or grandchildren can be just as important, especially if you have more than one! One simple idea is alternating weekends by taking one of your children or grandchildren out for breakfast. This gives you good one on one time. In our busy day-to-day life, we can go a long time without having meaningful conversations with our children. If for example you head out the door with them for an ice cream cone or even a simple walk, you might be surprised how much they tell you—and how happy it makes them to have time alone with you. This will involve a little more commitment on your part but is so worthwhile long-term.
The “I love you” code
Sometimes you find yourself in a situation where you want to say I love you but for whatever reason you cannot, whether it is because it is inappropriate to the situation, or because you’re across a crowded room from each other. You might also have kids who are at an age where they are embarrassed by the conversation. Have you ever considered creating a secret “I love you” code? Actress Carol Burnett famously used to tug her left ear on camera to silently tell her grandmother she loved her (pretty cool right). You could use a non-verbal gesture like that, or agree on something else. I can imagine the fun you could have with this at a dinner party.
Say “yes” when they don’t expect it!
We often allow life to get so busy that we can delay things we really want to do, because we think we do not have the time to do it. We tell ourselves we’ll do it later, but later never seems to arrive (sound familiar?). I encourage you to seize the opportunity to say “yes” whenever possible, whether you’re doing a quick chore for your spouse, or letting your child help with something when you could do it faster alone. I have surprised my spouse and kids several times over the past couple of years by saying yes out of blue to something that for the longest time was met with one no after another. It was great to see the surprise look on their faces.
Supportive touch
Please hear me on this, do not forget to touch your family. I realize not everyone has the same level of comfort in doling out hugs and kisses. But this shouldn’t prevent you from being able to at least touch someone’s hand to show support, offering a gentle pat on their back as you go by, or even offering a nudge with your shoulder when you’re sitting beside them. All of these gestures say without using words, “I’m here. I care.”
Remember that nothing will ever change unless you are willing to change. Be the change agent, commit to showing acts of love and help bring your family back together. I believe this firmly, if you will win at home, you will ultimately win in life! Happy Mother’s Day to all you mothers reading this blog. You are truly a gift from God. Thank you for being such great mothers and role models.
God Bless,
Doug Hedrick